There has been a stirring in my soul lately that continues to surface, so I guess that means it’s time to write – – –

Calling has become an over-churched word, and I almost hesitate to refer to this feeling as such, but it is the only language I have to explain this. Because it indeed is a calling, a loud cry, that the Lord has placed in me.

I feel a weightiness for those who do not understand their identity. I believe that the Lord has given me a taste of this burden for His people since I have personally experienced the feeling of needing to strive because I haven’t always recognized my worth. Now there is this growing fire inside me to champion people on their journey to discovering the fullness of who they are in Christ. When I get to take what I am discovering in the Secret Place and use it to encourage, graciously admonish, affirm and ultimately simply love people, I feel the most alive. Through creative things, words from Holy Spirit, letters, leading worship, or simply just listening and feeling with someone, I’m starting feel as though my purpose is being fulfilled right in front of me. I just recognized this a few weeks ago, that the world’s view of calling puts so much emphasis on a specific career path or field. And this is true for some people, our world needs pastors, doctors and missionaries who love Jesus and do their work for His glory. But I am starting to see that I don’t think that’s how things are going to play out for me. There are so many spheres I’ve already been exposed to and involved with, and I expect that isn’t going to stop. But no matter where I am during different seasons of life, whether in a corporate business office, on the stage at church, writing cards in my room, or (hopefully) one day as a wife and momma, I believe there will be a drive in me see the true identity in the children of God and call it out of them.

Of course, I must acknowledge that we are all called in a sense to the same thing, the Great Commission outlined in the book of Matthew was not directed only to the eleven that were there to receive it. No, it was to every disciple on this side of the cross who would choose to walk in the way of Jesus. We are command to go to all the nations and make disciples, and under any personal calling this truth should be found.

Even though I have felt so seen and known as Jesus continues to reveal to me my purpose in the Kingdom, I really truly want to get to a place that even if no one else sees, hears, or is impacted by anything I say or do, I am fully content ministering to the heart of God. I’ve seen glimpses of it, His heart, and the more I seek of it, the more I fall in love. Just this last week there has been such a deep knowing in my heart that there is nowhere I would rather pour myself out than at the feet of Jesus. To be so close to His face that I can’t help but hold His gaze and hear the things He whispers to me. I so desperately want this to be my legacy, that I loved Jesus well and rested in the love He so graciously bestowed upon me. That my children and grandchildren would remember me as a woman who feared the Lord and gave to Him all that she had.

If this is not the cry of our hearts, to minister to Jesus, then what is life worth living? In every circumstance, past our emotional states and feelings, regardless of what is going on in our world – friends, if this is not the cry of our hearts, we need to start asking why. And then contend for it to be our deepest desire. I do not care if you are nine or ninety years old, there is still time to press in to the more of God that is waiting before you. We were made to love the Father, to be captivated by Him, to be transformed and renewed by His Son, and to be used as vessels for the Kingdom to come on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Grace be with you.
xoxo, Rach

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Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

— John 13:7

On a quick drive around town a few days ago, Becca and I stopped at church.

I missed this place, and I needed to say hello.
I hadn’t been there since I’ve returned home.

There was something sad about seeing the trees in bloom, but no one being there to soak in their beauty. They fade so quickly each year, and it feels magical to stand beneath them all! It’s a feeling that’s usually experienced by many, but this year only by few.

During this quarantine time it has been sobering, humbling, to realize how I’ve taken my community for granted in certain moments. I longed many years for this church family, and I sometimes forget that it is not the people filling me up when I interact with them, but Jesus in them. Many times it takes the absence of something to realize the depth of which it has impacted us, but also maybe reveal the unholy stature we’ve held it in. This perspective has helped to shape how I feel the Lord moving in this time. He is stripping away things that we have elevated too close, to where only He should be. Crossroads Church has helped to shape and mold me, this body has pushed me hard to grow – many times in ways I didn’t know I needed and quite frankly didn’t want to. I have been amazingly blessed by the way the Father’s heart has moved in this place. But we need communion with the Father alone to be enough, I declare that being with just Him IS enough! It’s hard, because community, friends, connection, they are all such GOOD things – but they nothing compared to being face to face with Jesus.

As the dust settles, and worldly things that have falsely given us life become inaccessible, boring and old, my prayer is this: May the Lord continue to reveal where we’ve wrongly replaced His joy, so it’s evident what we really long for is found only in Him.

I’m looking forward to the Sundays when there are friends visiting on those benches at the front of the church.
I’m looking forward to the Wednesdays when the youth group is playing volleyball on the lawn.
I’m looking forward to being able to worship collectively in the same building with my people.

There is such expectation in my heart for our return, united stronger than before, defeating the attempt of the enemy to separate. But for now we wait for Him to move in the stillness of our homes.

He waits for us to pay attention to what He’s doing in the midst of it all.

Talk to you soon!
xoxo, Rach

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Put your heart and soul into every activity you do, as though you are doing it for the Lord himself and not merely for others.

— Colossians 3:23 TPT

As I marveled at the creativity and handiwork of an Orthodox Church located in the heart of Skopje, Macedonia, I didn’t expect to be confused on what to feel. There was so much going on, so much “beauty” that it almost distracted attention from the face of The Beautiful One who was supposed to be worshiped there. From the outside this place seemed holy – intricate portraits of Biblical figures, modern day saints, angels, all of creation – but lost in this extravagance was the focus on Christ. Ornate details and colors adorned the inside of this building, every inch from top to bottom was covered and fashion a particular way.

And as pretty as it all was, it still seemed lackluster.

The spirit of religion was undoubtedly in that place, it could not be ignored. Now, I do not want to discount that people have most certainly met Jesus there. That people have been brought to their knees in repentance and saved by grace through faith inside those walls. But, the overall feeling I got inside that building made me think –

What is the motivation for our actions?

Why do we do what we do?

For whom do we do it?

We live in a society that has elevated the “self” to a level that is quite frankly, ungodly. Yet at the same time, we still care wildly too much about how others perceive us.
We are stuck between two false ways of thinking:

Fulfillment and motivation comes from my individuality.

AND

Fulfillment and motivation comes from others accepting me, as is.

Both of these ideals manifested themselves inside of this church. It felt like much of the design and creating was not done with a heart of worship, but with a heart that was striving to impress the artist themselves and the rest of humanity.

The ideas of self-love, self-care, and acceptance are moving people away from thinking outside of themselves. It’s so arrogant to think we are only living for ourselves and so tiring to try and win everyone’s approval! What a deeper fulfillment we have when the love and care is projected out to the world around us with living for Jesus as our fulfillment and motivation instead. God doesn’t want (let alone need), us to make complex and awe-inspiring things in a fleshly attempt to draw others to Him. But when we live our every moment for His glory, the extravagance of His heart is naturally drawn out of us for public display.

If we could even take one moment per day and evaluate our motives asking “Why?”, it might start a habit, a habit that could tip the scale towards looking at more than moments, but the fullness of our lives. Oh how we could change things if we regularly recenter ourselves on the fact that we are only living for Jesus – not ourselves, not others.

In case you haven’t heard these words lately, here them now: the pressure is off, just focus on loving Him.

Did you hear that? The pressure is off.

This whole life thing – it’s supposed to be about Him. Not for you, and not them.

Life Update: I have been back home for about 10 days.
Because of all the mess and uncertainty related to COVID-19, out of discernment and wisdom, the decision was made that I would have to come home early. Though it was cut short, I had a beautiful time in Macedonia. Many memories and connections were made that will last a lifetime. I will be back – sooner than later – because now a family on the other side of the world has part of my heart, I must go back to reunite with it.
Now that most regions across the PNW are in quarantine, I am working from home, turning into church from home, and using tech to reconnect with my community. Since returning, it’s been difficult not to be with my people, but it will make the times after this sweeter all the more.

I can’t wait to be allowed hug you all again!
Soon. Jesus, let it be soon.
xoxo, Rach

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Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

— Philippians 2:6-7 NIV

I’ve been learning things the past few months that I didn’t know would matter here.

You can’t pour out when you aren’t full.
That’s an seemingly obvious principle, but it’s one that I hadn’t taken to heart for the majority of the last 20 years. I was not functioning out of being full – there was a constant threat of hitting empty because I was not completely firm in my foundation. In countless situations I found myself serving out of lack, not out of overflow. As if I could live a complete life subconsciously giving up my inherent worth for the sake of perceived servant-hood. Any act of serving is not as impactful when the servant it’s not totally saturated in truth.

Something I’ve observed about people, is that we like polarized things. It’s one or the other, no gray area. And yes, there are fundamental things that we need be strict on, but I think that some things are worth venturing into the gray area for.

Jesus came and took on the physical image of a human, interacting with humanity in the exact opposite way that humans had functioned for thousands of years – He exhibited perfection. No wonder those who had earthly authority were nervous as Christ gained a following, no wonder those who had been oppressed flocked to Him. Jesus was the ideal person, the One the world was striving to be – even though they didn’t realize it.

From the rich to the poor, everyone was trying to emulate aspects of Christ, but no one had succeeded. No one has been willing to REALLY go into the gray area. Those with power understood the notion that their lives had great worth, but were looking past grace and holiness. Those who were more lowly understood the impact of compassion and kindness, but were not functioning out of their royal identity.

Jesus came to unite both ends of the spectrum, to give His beloved (you and me!) the opportunity to be restored to our original design. He was seated on the HIGHEST of highs, and He dove to the DEEPEST of deeps all so that we could regain our place as His Sons and Daughters.

Worth <——> Compassion, He’ll be there the middle.

Since experiencing the example that Jesus set for us, so many have been able to walk with Him in the middle. To see that there is lack when we only go for one or the other. That the Kingdom impact stretches so much further when we venture out into the middle.

I needed to know that being here. To be able to love and serve with the heart of the Father, I needed to not only know my worth, but the believe it! It’s a daily battle, the enemy thinks that he can try to steal it from me, but it’s not so – nor will it ever be.

We must vibrantly acknowledge our value, still choosing to bend low, and be a light to the darkness that has invaded the earth.

May we never be hidden 💡

Life Update: It took about four days, but I think it’s safe to say that the jet lag has worn off. There were a few restless nights, a few very exhausting days, but the joy I was starting to believe got stolen has returned in strength and it’s beautiful. Colors seem brighter, laughs are laughier, and Jesus a little sweeter when joy abounds. I am loving being with this family, they are absolutely presh. The girlies and my lil dude friend are quickly becoming some of my favorite humans. I’ve been to the MAKHOP a few times now, which have been good times of worship to our worthy King and prayer for our hurting world. I started helping out at INform this week too, and I’m learning new programs and getting to know the awesome people who work there. COVID-19 is the enemy’s newest tactic here, but it WILL bow to the power of Jesus, and it WILL be used to glorify His name! Lot’s of work/school from home action is starting to happen over here because of it, but God knew about this outbreak from before this trip was even planned – I came here as a servant, to do His will, no matter what that looks like.

Love you all back home, I miss you!
xoxo, Rach

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I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

— Ezekiel 36:26 (NIV)

It’s funny sometimes, how it seems that God is doing things behind your back and right in front of your face at the same time.

Leaving Downtown Tacoma yesterday for the last time until I come back from traveling, was bittersweet to say the least. I think I was actually sort of sad. Jesus has been doing some major work in me, opening my eyes to the reality of where I’m at in the “now”. For the last year being at work each day wasn’t something that filled me up or gave me joy of any sort, but I’m starting to think that I just wasn’t willing to see it the way I was supposed to.

Perspective changes everything.

Since graduating a few months ago, there has been a rapid progression in how I’ve interacted with my job. Work has become more than just a place to go and make money – it’s becoming a special place, with unique relationships. More and more I’m seeing my coworkers with the Father’s eyes, and it’s a beautiful thing. I love that every day there is a new opportunity to exude the love of Jesus and point others to His goodness, to be an example of what it looks like to do work unto the Kingdom and not the world. It’s almost as though it’s taking my leaving for a bit to evoke this response in my heart, to make me see this from this angle. An I was supposed to be looking from this whole time. It feels like one of those stone to flesh analogies; I was hardening my heart to the idea that I couldn’t thrive in the present, it was just a “stepping stone to get where I needed to go”. And while that’s theoretically true, He’s giving me a new heart, a new spirit and I’m finding it’s more fulfilling to choose to enjoy where He’s got me for this season. There is so much here, so much I could have missed. But how gracious is the Father that I now get the chance to experience what He could have let me fail to notice.

This is such a cool thing, it’s just totally Jesus.

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Hi – I’m Rach, and I’m glad you’re here.

My hope is that this blog encourages and challenges you to live authentically and love boldly as you walk out everyday life. There is beauty to be found from the ordinary to the extraordinary, and everywhere in between. You can expect stories of small victories, difficult challenges, exhilarating adventures, selfless love, and so much more. I want to document life, at least for now, in a space where I can share it in an effort to uplift the character of Jesus and the fact that we are made in His image. He holds us secure in that identity so that we can be spontaneous in giving His love to the world around us.

This is what it means to live Spontaneously Secure.

If you would like more information and background on my heart for sharing the coming posts with the world, or how to better connect with me, head over to the “About” page!